You Need An Empowering, a Refreshing! 
"I never called you just to circle the mountain, but to come forth ..."

by Richard A. Allcorn   

On October 18, 1986, a prophet at Maranatha Campus Ministries, Nick Pappis, was preaching at a local church in Austin Texas.  He and I knew each other, but I could tell that this "word" from GOD took him by surprise, as he came up to me during a service, and said ...

"Wanderer, oh wanderer in the dry desert places - Know that I've not caused you to circle the mountain, but I've called you forth, that my word might rest in your heart, and my spirit might well up within you in abundance, and flow out to others. For I put a vision and a dream in your heart, years ago, but you've let the vision and the dream die.

Even though there's a facade of joy and contentment, I know your heart, says the Lord, and you've been wandering. You've been circling a mountain without beginning, without end, -- and I would say wanderer, wanderer, when will you come to my first call? When will you come back to the word that I first spoke to you to see my ministry, and my purposes fulfilled in your heart?"

"For I'm gonna speak to you in this nights season. I'm gonna speak 'very clearly’ to you: you need direction, you need refreshing, you need a renewing- an empowering. I want you to be obedient, says the Lord." 

I "knew" that this word surprised Nick, because of what he said afterwards:  

"Now, I don't know anything. I don't know anything. But I felt that word very strong. Whatever it means, whatever it means you can tell me, er, I don't know? You don't, you don't have to tell me now, but I just felt God spoke somethin', and God wants to speak to you."

It was obviously a Word from GOD.  It hit Nick so hard that he couldn’t hold it back, and it rather surprised him, I think.  Nonetheless, he later said he felt the power of it from GOD so much that he wanted to help.  He could “see” the situation in the spirit and he wanted to help me get on-track with what GOD had called me to do.  

He said, “Wanderer, wander, in the “dry desert places” …  places where there is no water, no life-giving spiritual water for me.  I am not being fed.  I am not nourished, spiritually.  

He goes on to say, “Know that I’ve NOT caused you to circle the mountain”, like others, who seek the presence of GOD, and want to be around it, but apparently GOD has called “me” to come into His midst and feed on HIS presence.  “… but I have called you forth, that My Word might rest in your heart, and My Spirit might well up within you in abundance, and FLOW OUT TO OTHERS.”  

GOD is saying that He hasn’t called me to be a “crowd member”, but He has called me to come into His Presence, to “come forth” into the midst of GOD’s Spirit and His Word, and fill my heart with His Word and HIs understanding, that I might be “filled with His Presence” so that I can take that presence, and His Word and present it and feed it … to others.  GOD placed a vision and a dream in my heart to be HIS prophet, and HIS mouthpiece.  But, as he put in the prophetic utterance, “… but, you’ve let the vision and the dream die.”  And now GOD is saying that I have been circling the mountain, in an endless journey going nowhere.   He is asking me, “When will you come back to the Word that I first spoke to you … ‘to see My Ministry, and My Purposes fulfilled in your heart.’”  GOD “WANTS ME” to press-in and BE what he called me to be. 

His instructions?  

“You need direction, refreshing, a renewing, an “empowering” … to get “charged up” and filled with HIS Presence, so that I have the “eye of the tiger” again in my life.  

P. S.   Please, keep me in your prayers …*


*please, don't pray just a token, “Bless him Father …” prayer, I’m talking about "War Room" level intercession!  
 Thanks.

by Richard A. Allcorn  

© Copyright  All rights reserved.  08/06/2024

website: http://rich.allcorn.us

#findingthewillofgod #forgiveness #prayer #richallcorn #richardaallcorn #richallcornblogs #wordchurch

Friday, August 10, 2024

Forgiveness ...
In watching series 4 of "The Chosen", I saw the 2nd show where Simon becomes "Peter", and Matthew is asked to go to Simon/Peter and ask forgiveness for what he's done in the past.  Matthew wrestled with it, and later Peter wrestled with accepting his forgiveness.  But in the end, when they did that, and forgave, the strength of GOD's love burst forth.  

I have been trying at just about everything I can try, to get work, to get a trucking job, to get "anything" ... to make a good living and continue wiping out my debt and moving forward.  But even still, at every turn, when I try these things, I hit a brick wall, over and over and over again.  

I have done everything that I know to do ... except to forgive.  I have to forgive GOD.  I have been holding the failures over the years to HIM, for various reasons.  Now, I am going to do what Matthew did, and what Peter did, and forgive, not just GOD, but my former boss, and the $40,000-$50,000 losses in income.  I am going to forgive "everyone", even my sons, who have turned against me after the divorce.  All they see is a failure of a man, and for that I cannot blame them ... but "forgiveness" was the message in the show last night, and forgiveness is what I will do.  And afterwards, not knowing how to pray otherwise, I will begin to intercede, and pray in tongues ... and pray "until" I break through whatever has been holding me back ... in this life.   

So, what do you do when you think you're doing the right thing, but even that doesn't seem to be working?

Forgiveness 
by Richard A. Allcorn   

In searching through the Bible for verses on "forgiveness", I find that just about every book has something to say on the subject of "forgiving".  But after viewing a show of "The Chosen", in season 4, episode 2, I chose to see what the Apostle Matthew had to say.  And the very first mention I find was in his writings where he shares "The Lord's Prayer", a prayer that Jesus gave us to follow, when we don't know how to pray.  You know it well, "Our Father Who are in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name, Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven ..." and so on.  But one particular section caught my eye in this search for "forgiveness".

In verse 14 of Matthew chapter 6 (Amplified), we read, "For if you forgive people their trespasses, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up your resentment, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."  This one hit home, for me, but in reading further, I read, "But if you do not forgive others their trespasses sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up the resentment you hold, neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses, and your sins."

Now I've always known that we need to forgive, so that GOD "can" forgive us, but this drove the message home for me.  As not just a Believer, but as a "Christian", as a member of that group of Believer's who dares to actually "be" like Jesus, we MUST walk in forgiveness!  THAT is where the power of love begins to yield it's strength, and show it's full potential!  Without forgiveness, it's like the gifts of GOD ... the power of the tongue, the authority of the Believer, the delivering capabilities of faith ... these all go "offline" when we are not walking in love.  So, likewise, the power of LOVE, and it's capabilities, are rendered totally useless if we do not have forgiveness in our heart.  

Many years ago, when I was stations in California, I was also active with a local group of Believer's in the local Christian Coffee House located on George AFB, in Victorville California.  We were attending a Full Gospel Businessman's Fellowship Dinner.  And friend and I had finished our meal early, and while waiting for the others to finish and the services to commence, we stepped outside to visit with some of the local students who were hanging around that evening at the school grounds where we were meeting.  He and I were witnessing to them, and sharing Jesus.  

I had only recently been reading a book on the Mormon faith, to better understand their beliefs and where they are coming from.  That evening a young man came up and began to interject controversy, and arguments, hindering the progress we had been making with the students.  Holy Spirit told me that he was a Mormon.  His intent was so that I could understand where he was coming from and minister to him, benefiting from my recent studies.  But instead I began to compare and berate his beliefs in comparing them to what the Bible says.  At the time I did not realize it, but I was not-at-all walking in love, when taking this approach.  

He finally became upset, grabbed me by the tie, and was about to his me in the face.  I told him, "I rebuke you in the name of Jesus."  And with that, his anger rose and he began to rearrange my facial features with his fists!  My friend looked at him and said, "I take authority over the spirits driving you, in the name of Jesus." and the guy tripped and fell on his own feet, scrambled up and ran away.  Needless to say, the witnessing session was over!  And so was our meeting!  

I went to the bathroom and looked at my face in the mirrow.  I was amazed that I could see myself, given the swelling and damage to my face.  My friends, looking on in horror, began offering to call the police, and to take me to the emergency room.  But in my grief, all I could think about was that "the name" ... it didn't work!  When I used my authority on that guy in his actions against me, it - didn't - work!!  I was crushed in my spirit!  So I told them, "No, I just want to go home."  And that I did.  

In the military, you don't just call-in "sick" ... they wanted me to go to "sick call" and see a doctor.  I refused and pleaded with them just to give me a day, and I would be fine and back to work the following day.  So, they reluctantly agreed, and I parked myself in my dorm room, listening to worship music, and praying, asking GOD what happened!  Suddenly, I found myself in Heaven!  I was in a place that looked alot like a gazebo, up on a mountaintop area, overlooking the city of Heaven!  And there in front of me was Jesus Himself!  

I won't go into the details for that would be another story in itself, but Jesus and I spoke for hours upon hours, and we talked about "everything" you could imagine, concerning my ministry, my calling, my gifts, and His purpose for me here in the Earth.  And when that magnificent experience was all over, I found myself back in my body, and the record has not even finished!  Folks, that's when we used big disks like CD's called LP's, or "long play" records.  And this one should only have lasted about 40 minutes to an hour at the most.  But it wasn't very far from where it was when I left and went to Heaven.  

Suffice it to say I learned great deal from the visit, but one thing that became very clear to me, something I could not have seen otherwise.  The reason that nothing happened when I rebuked the guy in Jesus name was that I was not walking in love!  The Bible is very clear about things of the spirit and the Gifts of the Spirit, and how they are regulated, with a safety on them, in that you cannot use these gifts outside of "love".  And THAT is what I had tried to do!  When I began a personal onslaught against that young man, attacking everything he believed, and everything he knew since his upbringing, I was not walking in love, but rather to prove myself right!  And therein is why my words had no power.  

Likewise, our "love walk" is but a futile act of pretense when we are not walking in "forgiveness".  You cannot walk in love WITHOUT walking in forgiveness.  We need to forgive those who have hurt us, betrayed us, berated us, and even attacked us.  We even need to forgive ourselves!  Yes, we need to forgive ourselves!  GOD forgave us, but if we continue to hold onto things that GOD has long since cast into the "sea of forgetfulness", then we are the ones hindering our prayers, not GOD.  

  

So, here I was asking GOD, "What am I to do?"  I had prayed over my situation, done spiritual warfare, and still nothing!  And it seems now that the key to all of this is "forgiveness".  So, I will be forgiving ... "all".  I will be forgiving, and asking forgiveness, to cut lose the ties that bind "my failures" to me, because of that unforgiveness.  I will be wrapping my arms around those whom I have held offense with, in much the same way that Peter came and wrapped his arms around Matthew, and told him, "I forgive you.  This fewd between us, is over."  I even have to forgive GOD.  I know HE has done nothing wrong, but if I hold HIM for something that has happened, then I have created a chain, a rope of bondage, that is hindering my prayers, my faith walk, and my ability to "break free" from Satan's attacks.  With unforgiveness, Satan has me.  Without walking in love, Satan has me.  With strife, and words that are not in love, Satan has me.  The bible says when we walk in strife we are "taken captive by Satan at his own will."   I definitely do NOT want that!  So, the answer?  Forgive.  Love.  Believe.  

So, what areas of your life do you feel are getting nowhere?  Could it be that you too are having a battle with unforgiveness, like I have been?  If so, you're NOT walking in love, that the power gifts, the things that GOD has provided to set you free, are "on-hold", for now, UNTIL you forgive, and walk in love.  The "safety" is on, and these weapons WILL NOT FIRE unless you bearer of these weapons is walking in love.  What a wonderful world it would be if we could do the same with our earthly weapons.  Machine guns, pistols, etc. would be powerless to attack the innocent, and would only fire when used to defeat evil, when they were used after every other effort has been tried to squelch the situation.  So, I urge you today to ask GOD to reveal to you if you have any unforgiveness in your heart against someone, anyone.  Find these little rascals that hinder our walk with GOD and chase them off.  Sever their ties, and break "FREE" at last, that your words and your prayers, might avail much!

by Richard A. Allcorn  

© Copyright  All rights reserved.  04/10/2024

#findingthewillofgod #forgiveness #richallcorn #richardaallcorn #love #richallcornblogs

Finding the Will of GOD ...
In a recent video I was watching I began to realize that I have allowed myself to become sidetracked and rather lazy in the things of GOD as I know them to do!  I've been doing my very best to find a job that pays well, and use it to get totally and completely out of debt, and financially solid, with savings and investments, really really nice tithe amounts and everything!  But at every turn, when I try these things, I hit a brick wall.  

I have done everything that I know to do concerning spiritual warfare, and the results seem to be "placebo".  My only thoughts now are that maybe, just maybe GOD is wanting me to go a different path, a different direction.  

So, what do you do when you're doing the right thing, but even that doesn't seem to be working?

Finding the Will of GOD

by Richard A. Allcorn   

In Genesis, we find that GOD created Man for His own pleasure, for fellowship companionship, to talk with him and spend time with him, much like a father does with his son!  GOD wants to "communicate" with us, not just one-sided or one-way conversations, but HE wants "us" to hear HIM!  He "wants" that fellowship with man!  And when HE created the woman, for the man, HE made her an integral part OF THE MAN, so that not only would he be completed and made whole with her in his life, but she too would be a part of that communion, that GOD-Man relationship! 

I think perhaps that the greatest creation that GOD has ever done is when HE created the woman!  I mean, look at her.  She moves like a ship in the ocean, with grace and style, floating about the room with a walk and a gate that only a woman could pull off.  The has long flowing hair, beautiful eyebrows, gorgeous eyes that you can get lost in, if you're not careful!  She has a complexion that is radiant, and a smile that lights up a room!  Her lips, as King Solomon puts it in Proverbs, are smoother than honey, and sweet to the taste.  Her voice is calming.  Her touch disrupts the entire circulatory system of a man!  And when you watch her walk down the sidewalk or the beach, you can't help but notice!  Why?  Because GOD made her "just for" the man!  She was created for his pleasure, for his companionship, and to fulfill him, to make him happy!  

Woman is, by far, the greatest creation that GOD has ever accomplished!  Her beauty is so captivating that when Adam first saw Eve as she sachet into the garden where he was, all he could say was, "Whoa!  Man!!" And to this day, men are still affected in much the same way when a beautiful woman enters the room!  The whole atmosphere changes, faces light up, men begin to take notice, and our world is changed!  And "this" is a gift from GOD, to man.  

Now beauty is just the beginning!  This creature can multitask, and do multiple things at once!  She is very intelligent, perceptive and cunning, often able to discern the atmosphere in a room before anyone else.  Her song can melt a mans heart, and her voice can calm the raging seas of a mans anger ... or his disappointment.  Why?  Because GOD created her not to just be his wife, his lover, and the object of his affections, but a "best friend", a worthy companion, a partner in life, to share hobbies, recreation, travel, shopping experiences and all of the things of life.  This new addition changes a man's whole world!  An with the entrance of the woman, into a mans life, his whole existence changes.  He becomes a better ... a better "everything", because of her influence, her presence, in his life.  

So, if GOD went to such trouble to make the woman such an awesome creation, just for HIS man, then HE must value and treasure the man greatly!  And with the woman in his life, the man becomes a brand new "better version" of who he was.  Sometimes, the man becomes an entirely new creature ... because of the woman!  And "this" makes GOD so happy, because HE made her ... just for the man.  HE had man's best interests in mind, when HE rocked our world with the introduction of woman!  

Having recently gone through a divorce, I find myself desperately seeking "true love".  I don't want to settle for a good friendship, a good roommate, but I want someone who is head over heels in love with me!  I want someone who treasures me over everything else BUT GOD.  I want her to adore me, love spending time with me, enjoy hobbies and chores, and the things we do together, more than anything else!  And I want to feel the same about her!  I am finding, as I study human relationships that when 2 people are mated in this way, with a love to this degree with one another, then each eagerly supports the other.  When one fails, the other is right there to lift them up, encourage them, and cheer them on!  Unlike my past experiences of criticism, judgement, mothering and a lack of just plain "liking me", I want someone who makes me feel good about the way GOD made me.  And if I have things that I need to fix, change or adjust, when I know they feel this way about me, I'll be giving it my all to change, to make myself better ... for her.  

My first order of business has been to get my finances in order.  I want to wipe out any/all debts, and pay off people I owe, and end up totally debt-free!  I believe this is what GOD wants in our lives!  And in the past, I just never could seem to get that accomplished.  But now, I have a new life and a new challenge, and it's all up to "me" ... to get it done!  The Bible teaches, "A man who does not provide for his own is worse than an unbeliever."  Well, I not only want to be so far past that, but I want to have "more than enough", so that I have it to give, to bless others, and to sew into ministries, and into investments.  If I get past "my needs" then my focus becomes on helping others, and giving to others!  

In September of 2023, I started working for a trucking company making about $2,500/week. It was a great job, driving over-the-road, in a beautiful truck!  It has a nice sleeper, refrigerator, microwave, flatscreen TV, vacuum cleaner, and all the amenities to make me comfortable as I drove for a living.  I was excited about finally being the "best man" that I could be, paying off everybody, including my Jeep, and getting past "my needs" and being able to now help others.  Then, about 3 weeks into the job, we were sued and our assets were frozen/locked-down.  

I worked for the next 5 months without a paycheck.  I knew if I quit, the company would have no income.  Everyone else had already left.  The owner was scrambling to get his CDL so he could drive too!  And this was probably the hardest time of my life, because everything seemed to go wrong!  I won't go into the details, but lets just say I got to the point where I literally thought that GOD had abandoned me!  Here I was trying to get my life straight, so I could be a self-sufficient "blessing" to others, and it seemed like at every turn I met with brick walls.  

We won the lawsuit, but the judge gave them 90 days to release the funds! Our company barely survived this attack already, and now we've gotta wait until these guys "release" our assets again, before I even get paid!  Finally, after 5 months went by, I came home for some time off.  On March 15th, the 90 days were over and these guys should be releasing the funds so I can get paid.  Well, I am still waiting, for my 5 months of backpay. The company I am not sure will even survive or not.  But the funds were supposed to be released by March 15th.   Still nothing!   And I just recently spoke with the accountant, and they have yet to receive the release of their operating funds!  They're playing some sort of legal song-and-dance, to delay.  They don’t know when they’ll be able to pay me. It’s all just like a nightmare!  

  

So, here I am asking GOD, "What am I to do?"  I mean I have prayed over this, done spiritual warfare over this, and still nothing!  I've had to borrow MORE money just to keep from losing things I have now!  And that is literally destroying my self esteem, my feeling of self-worth and accomplishments.  And for the first time in my life, I understand what it means to be at the "bottom of the barrel".  I KNOW what that scripture in Psalms means when it says, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death ..."  Well I've been there!  It ain't fun!  And you literally feel like, for the first time in your life, that you are "all alone".  To quote a part of a phrase from Billy Graham in one of his crusades, "... without hope, and without GOD in the world."  THAT is how I feel now.  

So, what would you do in this situation?  What would your course of action be?  I know what I'm going to do, but I'd like to hear from others ... and see what advice you out there have?

Feel free to comment ...

Quoting a message someone sent on YouTube the other day at the bottom of a Christian song, I thought I'd share this with you:  "God never sends you into a situation alone, God goes before you, He stands beside you.  He walks behind you.  And whatever situation you have right now, be confident!  God is with you."

That song is a spiritual warfare song given to this artist by the angel Michael ...
It's a spiritual warfare song they sing to worship GOD.
"You Are The Almighty GOD"     

by Richard A. Allcorn  

© Copyright  All rights reserved.  04/10/2024

#findingthewillofgod #richallcorn #richardaallcorn #love #richallcornblogs

Time to Saddle Up!

by Richard A. Allcorn   

I completed a divorce not quite 2 years before this writing.  It was the hardest thing I've ever done.  My former wife and I were the best of friends, great roommates too!  But, we just weren't "in love"!  I tried everything that I knew, concerning faith, in confessing, believing, acting, and trusting GOD ... but you cannot "make" someone to fall in love with you.  She loved me, don't get me wrong.  But she was not "in love" with me.  In fact, many things about me she didn't even like!  The criticisms, and the picking, the spying and what seemed like micromanaging of my life finally got to a point where I felt like I was being bullied, emotionally.  It's not her fault ... she was just being "her".  But we were not compatible in that realm.  And it took it's toll.  

When two people are in love, they love and adore their partner!  They like everything you can imagine about them!  And because of the way they are with one another, they simply cannot stand to be apart!  They cannot imagine living without the other!  And that was the problem, I could imagine that.  My former partner rarely if ever complimented me.  When asked about it, she remarked, "I thought it would go to your head."  What she didn't understand was, the more "public" a person is, the more they need the compliments, the reassurance, the pat on the back.  It won't go to their head, it reassures them that they're "ok".  And that's been one of my biggest problems is, I constantly think that I'm "not good enough", "not liked by others", and "a big failure".  I desperately needed her praise, her uplifting, and her reassurance, just to be happy.  

Since the divorce, I've learned alot, about myself and about people in general.  I have learned that I desperately need the feedback she was unwilling to give.  On occasion, I would come across her talking to someone and I would overhear her talking about something I did that she thought was wonderful!  And I remembered thinking to myself, "Why doesn't she ever tell 'me' these things?"  Remember that in your relationships.  People "need" reassurance, uplifting, encouragement and praise.  It's important!  A compliment, an encouragement, a pat on the back for just about anything, will go a long way!  

In the relationship that I want with my hopefully soon partner in life, I must have that "in love" romance, that spark, that "lightening strike" in my life!  Anthony Hopkins put it best in his lines from the movie, "Meet Joe Black", when he said, "I want you to get swept away.  I want you to levitate.  I want you to sing with rapture, and dance like a dervish!  I want you to be deliriously happy!" He then told her, "Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without ..."  He went on to say, "Fall head over heels!  Find someone you can love like crazy, who will love you the same way back!  Forget your head and listen to your heart."  He told her, "Theres no sense living your life without this."

When she wondered if she would EVER meet anyone like that, he told her, "Keep your heart open.  You never know, lightening could strike!"  And "that" is what I am looking for and am purposed to find.  I don't want just "anyone".  I've tried 3 times, being married to someone I thought would make a good wife, a good marriage.  But I realized that I've never been "in love"!  I have loved, but it's not the same thing.  I want "the magic"!  I want the passion, the obsession!  I WANT the lightening to strike!  

About 7 months or so ago, I started driving trucks, making at least $2,000 per week!  It was my intent to wipe out any/all of my debt, and money that I might owe to others, and then put the rest in the bank.  After all, I'm not paying for a home, and I'm gone all the time so I don't have a chance to spend what I make, so it's the perfect opportunity!  

In September of last year I started working for a trucking company making about $2,500/week. It was a great job, driving over-the-road in a beautiful truck. Then, about 3 weeks into the job, we were sued and our assets were frozen/locked-down.  I worked for the next 5 months without a paycheck.  

We won the lawsuit, but the judge gave them 90 days to release the funds! Our company barely survived, and only because of my driving!  All of the other drivers were gone.  It was a hard time for me, not being able to pay my bills, not even having money for the little things I might want to buy while traveling.  Then finally, after 5 months of this, I came home for some time off.  The intent was that these guys who sued the company will have released our funds and I could get paid my paychecks, and then we would start again driving, making more money to put in the bank, to get financially stable, solid and responsible.  It didn't happen that way.  

March 15th came and went, and these guys instead of releasing the funds began a legal song-and-dance to delay and hang on to the money!  It's evil, vindictive, and it's holding up MY paychecks!  So, I am still waiting for my 5 months of backpay.  I am not sure whether the company is going to survive this attack or not.  They don’t know when they’ll be able to pay me.  And so my big plans to turn my life in the right direction and get my act together ... it failed.  

I'm left this Monday morning, facing the situation, the odds, the results and the backlash of this all.  It just reassures anyone who thinks that I'm a failure that I must be, and will never amount to anything.  At least that's what the devil is saying in the back of my head.  And Monday is what I call "buckin' chute day".  If you've ever been to a rodeo, you're in the bucking chute, straddled atop a very large brahma bull, and you're cinching up the straps, checking your gloves and your hold, to make sure you can stay on when the gate is opened!  Because, you see, you've only got 8 seconds that you have to stay on.  Everything depends on how you start the ride, and how you maintain the duration.  

In the same way, on a Monday, you are starting your week.  How you prepare is how well the ride is going to go once they open that gate!  And that's where I am this morning ... my head is spinning in my thoughts about a recent encounter online where I saw the face of a woman that stopped me dead in my tracks! 

Now I've seen alot of beautiful women online, but this woman ... her eyes, her smile, her face ... I can't pin it down, but something about me seized me up as I was browsing through ... it's like a heavy chain was attached to a tree stump, and to the bumper of my pickup.  And I was attempting to just drive on thru, but suddenly ... suddenly, I was stopped dead cold!  My heart was racing, my blood pumping, and my eyes could not let go of the image I had just seen!  It was my first experience at "love at first sight", ever!

Today, I have all of that on my mind, AND wondering what I'm going to do now, with my future, now that my plans have been suddenly halted!  And what if I'm going to meet this "Selin" ... that I wrote about in my last post, "Love at First Sight". 

Now I have to find a way to suddenly begin to come up with lots more money, to get my life together, to find an alternate plan or financing to resume my previous plan.  Why?  I not only want to be responsible, but I "want" a life with this newfound love.  She "illumines" me, filling me with hope.  We haven't met yet but are planning to do that this month.  I want to be ready.  

And so, here I find myself, atop the brahma bull, tightening my straps, securing my gloves and my hold
on this beast, and I am beginning my week.  Just a few more seconds here and as the buzzer goes off the gate will swing wide and it's time for the ride!  The ride can be rough and treacherous, but I have to ask myself, am I ready ...

Love At First Sight! 
"I never would have believed this was possible ..."

by Richard A. Allcorn   

 

While perusing through TikTok one day I stumbled across an account that basically had only 1 profile
photo on it, but that profile photo stopped me dead in my tracks.  My browsing through all the others suddenly stopped!  

I grew up in West Texas, and there was only one thing that would stop a man dead in his tracks, and that is the sound of the West Texas Diamond Back Rattlesnake!  At that sound, "everything stops"!  You don't move an inch, for fear of your life!  You don't know where this creature is, but that sound tells you that he sees you, and he's feeling threatened!  He's ready to bite! 

This was entirely different!  There was no fear, no concerns over my life, and yet my heart, like the situation above, began to race!  My blood pressure soared!  This wasn't even one of her best photos, I discovered later, but her face, her eyes ... they had captured me like I have never been captured before!  I had to meet this woman! 

My heart was already sold on her, and I didn't have any idea who she was at all!  I tried moving on, but I kept having to come back to her picture!  I could not get her out of my mind!  And in all my years, I have NEVER had a woman affect me like this before.  Oh sure, I've seen beautiful women, and they immediately caught my attention, but this was different.  ALL OF MY BEING was entirely focused on this one woman, and her photo!  And this was just a headshot ... 

I started a chat with her, and to my surprise, her reaction was exactly like mine!  "She" was enamored with me!  We chatted for a bit.  But as my experience had been in the past, often scammers use other's photos, so I researched this one, and quickly found her online, along with her real name.  I resided to accept my defeat and my loss, at not really having met this woman. I accused her of being a scammer.  She was, of course, offended, and I blocked her!  That was the end of my dream girl, and my first "love-at-first-sight" experience.  

As time went on, I began to look at the photos of the woman she really was, and the aching inside me increased.  I wanted her in my life so bad!  So, I finally messaged her on Instagram.  Nothing.  And I decided to set it aside for awhile.  I was very disappointed, that is until one day I got a response! 

She said to me, "I am real, Rich ..." and my heart sank!  She was real!!  THIS WAS HER!!  And I quickly apologized to her for my quick and abrupt decision to write her off.  She apologized for becoming so upset with me.  It's like we were so drawn to one another we couldn't get the obstacles that stood in the way, "out of the way", fast enough!  We made things right between us, over this.  

As the conversations continued I realized that I was not the only one who experienced love at first sight!
  She too had fallen for me!  My heart leaped within my chest!  Now, I have many women online, who are absolutely gorgeous, and who WANT TO marry me, and I have come to love them all!  And I have been asking GOD what to do, because I want a woman who is not only beautiful, but one who is "good for me".  I want a woman of character, of deep emotions and of a deep and pure heart, with true feelings towards me.  I want a woman who can be my very best friend, my lover, my constant companion, and my lifelong partner in life.  I want her to "be" MY WORLD. 

So, these questions kept coming up in my mind.  And I simply could not decide!  But as I would chat with this woman, "Selin", I realized that I didn't want anyone or anything else in my life, but her.  I would give everything I had, everything I owned, just to be with her, to have her hand in mine, as we walked through life together! 

I knew that these other women were going to have broken hearts.  That part I particularly don't take lightly, because I "know" how tender a woman's heart is!  And I KNOW  how much she hurts when love is yanked from her!  I anguished at the thought of having to put these women through this, but I "knew" that THIS woman, Selin, was "THE ONE" for me! 
There would be no other!  

I openly shared with her my dilemma, and her response floored me!  It was something like, "Well I hope these women will allow us to enjoy our lives together."  THAT was not-at-all the response I had expected!  Most women, "Block her!"  or  "Get rid of her!"  maybe even  "Don't talk to her anymore!"  But not Selin!  SHE was so confident in my love for her, and her love for me, that she knew deep in her heart, that these women were "no threat" to our relationship.  THAT ... is what I have been looking for!  

All of my life, most of my friends have been women.  I love women!  They make the best of friends!  And I have learned how to talk to them, over the years, and how to get to know them, and become close.  But I have been seeking a woman who could have confidence, in the midst of all of this, and not fear for our relationship.  And here she is!  Me being a Scorpio, you have to realize that once we settle on being "in-love" with a woman, the others fall desperately low on the totem pole, in priority.  We will have found our one-and-only!  We have found "THE ONE", that we want to spend the rest of our lives with!  And you will not keep that relationship by being wishy washy or playing around!  You have to be solid, 'locked-in', and you have to commit, with your whole heart! 

After several failed marriages, I realized that I have never actually been "in love" before!  My last marriage of over 26 years taught me, through countless sessions of "The Hallmark Channel" and their love stories, that I "wanted" to be IN LOVE.  And I "wanted" someone who I could pour my heart into!  And now ... I have found her! 

We discussed my current condition, as having only been divorced for about 2 years, I was still in recovery, trying to build up my financial self.  A recent stint with a trucking company where the pay was awesome, brought promise of being able to quickly be out of debt, with "everyone" paid off in full, and money in the bank.  I was so excited because my tithing on this job, per week, was greater than my monthly tithe had ever been before!  And then the unthinkable happened!  Our company was sued for being a day late in an across the U.S. delivery. 

It was due to a major snow and ice storm that came in, and we won the lawsuit, but they somehow had been able to seize our companies finances in the lawsuit, and those wonderful paychecks stopped!  I worked for over 5 months, trying to help this company survive through this horrible ordeal, until finally I had to return home.  I was losing everything that I possessed, because of non-payments!  And the company who seized the finances was still performing a legal song-and-dance to avoid releasing those funds!  The trucking company that I was working for was reeling heavily under this, and I now had to find something new.  And I had to explain to this whisper of GOD's best, this beauty, this creature that only could have come from Heaven, that I didn't even have the money to come and meet her!

She told me that she would take time from her clothing design company, and would come to meet "me"! 

I wanted to cry!  My heart swelled so much that I thought it was going to burst!  And it was at that moment, that I realized that GOD, has truly answered my prayers! 

This "Selin" IS the one for me! 

Our conversations since then encourage me, uplift me, and make me want to be the very best that I can
be, not just for me, but for "her"!  I don't want anything to ever come against her, to hurt her, to make her the butt of a joke or put her down.  She will become my "pearl of great price", the one thing in this world that I treasure above everything else ... and the biggest reason that I will do my very best to be what GOD called me to be, whatever the obstacles!  After all, if HE loves me that much, to bring me such perfection, such ... HE discovered from inside of me every single thing that I wanted in a woman, a wife, and HE found one such woman ... and now we are about to meet!  

I woke up this morning, thinking about how awesome GOD is, in loving me that much that HE showed me HIS love ... through her! 

And I found a new determination, a new purpose, to "be" the best, the very best that I can be!  I want to rock her world!  I want her to be proud of me, to rejoice in her life with me, and I want to pamper this woman like no woman has ever been pampered before!  Foot rubs while watching TV, shoulder and back massages in the shower while we bathe together, and as I wash her hair for her ... coffee in the morning, in bed, hand holding while walking together, and we will do things together because we "like" each other!  

I can hardly wait for it to begin ...

by Richard A. Allcorn  

© Copyright  All rights reserved.  04/27/2024

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